““When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” -Henry Ford
An Invitation To Feel Lost
What people rarely admit on their LinkedIn headline, Instagram story, or in everyday braggadocious small-talk, is that everyone is feeling lost.
In my own life it has been a constant companion. Often, it brings along its best friends too- rejection, failure, and hopelessness- to beat you over the head with history lessons from your own life.
One day it’s, You were the slowest kid in the cross-country team. Of course you can’t run a marathon as an adult.
Another day it’s, The first time you made a quiche, there were holes in the crust and the filling was raw. You are a bad cook and everyone hates your food.
But underlying it all is this feeling that you are simultaneously stuck in place- trapped, blocked, and forever locked into your shortcomings- and also wandering listlessly without any idea where you’re going.
Feeling Lost As A Superpower
Today, though, I don’t want to tell you to purge these feelings.
Because the trouble is, even when you are taking care of your health, maintaining good fashion sense, pursuing your purpose, and doing everything right it is still easy to feel doubtful and lost.
So today, I won’t tell you to just believe in yourself, to just have faith that all it takes after getting knocked down 99 times is to stand up one more time than the next person.
No, today let’s table the talk about resilience and never giving up.
Instead, I want to tell you why being “lost” is actually where you can meet with the most unique solutions, and I will give you 3 easy mental switches you can use to make the most of it.
Changing The Label
Right from an early age, we live in a results-oriented world. Don’t get me wrong, this makes a lot of practical sense.
The challenge with this paradigm though, is that it discourages the smaller failures on the winding road of self-discovery, and fetishizes certainty as a form of success.
Ultimately, when we assign rewards to outcomes rather than processes, we can easily lose trust that we are on the right track.
So before we even talk about the feeling, let’s acknowledge that to label yourself as “lost” usually implies uncertainty, and this is scary.
But let’s also acknowledge that there is power in uncertainty.
There is bravery in having faith.
There are the embers of infinite different outcomes, and the more empowered you feel to explore them, the more creatively you will be able to navigate the uncertainty.
So instead of “I’m lost”, think “I’m exploring.”
Decoding Feeling Lost
For a long time, I thought I was the problem.
Half the month, I would feel this crescendo of PMS- overthinking what other people thought about me, questioning my own abilities and worth.
Then, the other half of the month I felt reasonably content with my life.
For years, I did not question the pattern.
Then, as I began to learn more about the menstrual cycle, I realized that the block of time I was consistently struggling with was the luteal phase.
So I did some digging.
I learned that in the luteal and menstrual phase of the female hormonal cycle, there are often certain nutrient deficiencies women commonly experience.
Two examples are iron and magnesium. Because of this, women might feel drained of their energy, and experience more dramatic mood swings.
Still, I didn’t make the connection between how I was feeling and what my feelings were telling me.
Finally, I decided to test the hypothesis.
I bought magnesium supplements, and I committed to eating lentils daily when I was on my period.
The results?
Moral Of The Story…
Now of course, I still feel irritable and tired sometimes (Spoiler: Magnesium supplements don’t fix everything.), but aligninging my diet with my body’s needs changed my life.
For me, the lesson was that those feelings were telling me something, and when I didn’t listen, I suffered more. I accepted these emotions, pushing through them without considering where they were coming from.
In the end, I now realize that my emotions were not (and are not) a nuisance; my body and brain used these mechanisms to help me thrive.
When you feel lost, your body and brain are trying to tell you something, and it might not be that everything is a disaster.
Instead, there is probably a small pivot that will help a lot.
Making Space To Listen.
So when you feel lost, tune in.
Over years of feeling like I had a broken body with broken hormones and feelings, there was one thing I didn’t do: listen.
Now, when I feel lost or stuck, I have the same temptation: increase the volume on everything else.
The practical problem with this approach is that refusing to listen to your feelings is a lot like refusing to listen to a toddler when they are talking to you.
What is initially just a peep of a remark or question soon becomes a whine, which soon becomes an angry howl, then maybe some tears, potentially culminating in a full-blown tantrum.
If you are lost- not just emotionally, but also lost in a new project, lost in a new life stage, lost in a new body of knowledge- take a moment to listen to the feedback you’ve gotten (from your colleagues or your nervous system alike).
At first, don’t ask yourself if what you hear makes sense. Just listen.
What To Do When You Feel Lost
#1: The Creative Compass
When I feel lost, it’s not just that I don’t know what to do—it’s that I can’t even hear myself think. Everyone else’s priorities suddenly feel louder than mine.
That’s when I use the creative compass.
It’s simple: instead of trying to choose a direction out of panic, I orient myself using four creative anchors.
- N = Need. What problem or pain in the world pulls at you so much you can’t ignore it? Maybe it’s medical bias in women’s health, or maybe it’s plastic waste in your community. Name it.
- E = Energy. What activities don’t drain you, even when they’re hard? What kinds of conversations leave you buzzing with ideas? These are your energetic green lights.
- W = Wonder. What topics make you curious enough to disappear down a rabbit hole? That thing you keep Googling or thinking about on your walk? Follow it.
- S = Strength. What skills feel natural—or could—with a little practice? Not the things you’re “supposed” to be good at, but the ones you return to even when no one’s watching.
You don’t need a map—you need a compass. Try writing down your NEWS on a page when you feel directionless.
Patterns will emerge.
Often, the path you’re meant to walk isn’t hidden—it’s just been muffled under the noise of trying to meet everyone else’s expectations. This exercise cuts through that. And the best part? It’s uniquely yours.
#2: Be Your Own Experiment.
What helped me most when I felt lost wasn’t getting it “right”—it was getting curious. I stopped treating life like a final exam and started treating it like a series of tiny experiments.
Here’s the process:
Step 1: Form a hypothesis. Something simple. “If I walk outside for 20 minutes a day, I’ll feel more connected.”
Step 2: Run your experiment. Set a time frame—7 to 14 days works great. Don’t aim for perfection; aim for consistency.
Step 3: Reflect. At the end, ask: What surprised me? What felt right? What drained me? What sparked something?
This approach mirrors what researchers do in labs.
Not every hypothesis is the right fit, but over time, through iteration and observation, real breakthroughs happen.
When you feel lost, try thinking like a scientist in your own life lab.
Replace the question “What should I do with my life?” with “What can I test this week?” It’s lower pressure—and surprisingly more effective.
#3: Prototype Your Future Self.
One of the most liberating things I’ve ever done was stop asking, “Who am I?” and start asking, “Who could I try being?”
When you’re lost, the pressure to “figure it all out” can be paralyzing.
So don’t.
Just like in the design world, your first version doesn’t have to be final—it just has to be real enough to test.
Here’s how to try it out:
Pick one identity experiment. Maybe it’s “The Artist”—someone who draws daily for 30 days.
Maybe it’s “The Innovator”—someone who spends 10 minutes a day sketching ideas for a new recycling product.
Maybe it’s “The Health Researcher”—someone who interviews 3 women about their experience in the healthcare system.
Set a few low-stakes parameters: a time box (30 days), a simple daily habit, and a way to reflect weekly.
You’re not changing your entire life. You’re just giving one version of yourself room to breathe.
It works because it removes the pressure of making the right choice and replaces it with playful exploration.
Try it. For 30 days, become someone new—not by faking it, but by experimenting.
You may be surprised by what fits, what sparks something, or what gently points you in a clearer direction.
Thought To Action
- Understand and align with your body’s natural cycles to enhance clarity and reduce the sense of being adrift.
- Creativity is a compass when you feel lost. Cultivate creative genius using your innate curiosity and creativity.
- Use journaling to accelerate your progress and celebrate your wins.
- Explore interdisciplinary projects in a team of passionate individuals.
- Talk to people from different careers and a diverse range of professional & cultural backgrounds.
Sources
NYU Shanghai. (n.d.). Life Design: Prototyping Your Own Future. Retrieved from https://shanghai.nyu.edu/is/life-design-prototyping-your-own-future
Stanford d.school. (n.d.). An Introduction to Design Thinking PROCESS GUIDE. Retrieved from https://web.stanford.edu/~mshanks/MichaelShanks/files/509554.pdf
Harvard Business School Online. (2022). What Is Design Thinking & Why Is It Important?. Retrieved from https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/what-is-design-thinking
Leave a Reply