“The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.” -Steve Jobs

Passion vs. Grit

The typical narrative places grit and passion on opposite ends of the spectrum. 

We imagine “following your passion” as taking a low-paying career in something we enjoy as a hobby. Then, alternatively, there is the “gritty” path that will pay-off years into the future, after many all-nighters and existential crises. 

This is a false narrative, because actually, passion and grit work in tandem, and today I want to unpack how that happens.

Angela Duckworth

The inspiration for this entire post comes from one woman: Angela Duckworth, a psychologist and author who studies grit and self-control. 

On her recent appearance on the Mel Robbins podcast, she discussed the ideas I’m outlining below. 

My Realization

This podcast was a paradigm-shift for me in several ways, but especially as someone who has always struggled to “narrow down” my interests and unlock the things I’m super passionate about. 

Here are a few key insights I realized about myself that might strike a chord:

1.  I have always assumed the “harder” path was inherently more respectable, even if my “easier” path was even more unique and impressive. I figured if I spent a bunch of time trying to brainwash myself into being interested in certain things that didn’t really excite me, that I was doing something inherently more “impressive” than pursuing other (equally) well-earning, nuanced, respectable field/careers/subjects. 

2. Grit is more about consistency than about excessive effort. If you only have 3/10 effort to give, it’s still better than 0. If you fall off the horse, get back on. 

3. You probably don’t even realize that you are talented or passionate about something, because you take your interest in it for granted. For example, I have lately become obsessed with mineralogy, as I’m taking a geology course. I thought everyone found that cool, but turns out, it’s a strong interest  somewhat unique to me. 

#1: The Hard Thing Rule

Duckworth talks about a rule she uses to cycle her kids through interests so they can find their passions, and, in turn, develop grit. 

To choose your “hard thing” she outlines these 3 rules.

#1: The hard thing must require deliberate practice and goals. 

While listening to Duckworth and Robbins, I thought to myself what in my own life might count as a “hard thing”, and the immediate example that stood out to me was learning how to play piano. 

As a kid, I had a checklist on my desk, created by my mom, and on it were the list of things I had to do every day when I got home. 

It was more or less: homework, shower, eat dinner, and practice piano. 

So practicing piano became a habit, like brushing my teeth or packing my school bag. 

It also became a goal- to learn to play Jingle Bells before Christmas, or to memorize Scherezade. 

#2: You cannot quit the goal. 

Another important rule is that you cannot quit the goal. This doesn’t mean you are committing to the “hard thing” for the rest of your life, but rather, that your experiment of the passion you have for that hard thing must be fulfilled. 

About a year and a half ago, I ran a half-marathon, and at the last mile, an aching pain permeated my right hip. I knew I had to finish though, because this was a goal I had and it needed to be completed. 

I ended up finishing, but the last mile took me 45 minutes. 

Duckworth says you have to finish your goal too. After the goal, you can stop, but you must cross the finish line.

Me, after I finished the half-marathon!!

#3: Nobody gets to choose the hard thing but you. 

This is the one most parents ignore. It’s either: you must learn piano or violin, or you will take karate because you need to learn self-defense. 

It even happens in careers. 

If I had a dollar for every kid I met who was on the I’m-becoming-a-doctor-because-it’s-what-my-parents-want track, or the lawyer/engineer/finance bro equivalent, I would never need to work at all. 

You need to choose your hard thing yourself. 

It can’t be your mom. 

It can’t be your math teacher. 

And no, it can’t be another white dude on the internet who thinks the only thing you ever need to learn about is AI.

The problem, then, is how to choose. 

#2: Choose easy. Work Hard. 

Most people think they have to “choose hard”, then “work hard”. It’s a belief I even internalized myself. 

However, if you choose easy first, working hard requires much less friction, and you will experience greater success. 

So…how do you “choose easy”?

#1: Choose easy. Avoid the ‘should’

Let’s start by clarifying what “choosing easy” isn’t. It isn’t:

• Giving up because one random, cruel person in your past told you “you can’t draw” or “you’re not good at math”. 
• Avoiding risk 
• Rejecting growth mindset (e.g. “I will never be able to figure out how to ride a bike because I fell off my bike twice when I was trying to learn.”

What “choosing easy” really means, is to pursue the things you’re already really excited about. Not what you “should” be excited about, but what you actually are excited about. Think:

• What do I like to learn about in my spare time?
• What am I least likely to procrastinate on?
• What kinds of fun facts do I naturally want to tell people about?
• What kinds of problems really annoy me about the world?
• What kinds of lifestyles, jobs, people make me jealous?
• What kinds of skills, knowledge, or behaviors do people compliment me on (or tease me about)?

No Stupid Answers!!

When you go down this list, you might think your answers are stupid, but they’re not. For example, I love to bake and knit, and I thought these were just silly hobbies. 

Lo and behold, my love for these activities provides a deeper clue toward the fact that I love to be creative in a tangible way. I love exploring the properties of materials, and to learn about chemistry in a tangible, non-academic way. 

If I am answering the question “What kinds of lifestyles, jobs, people make me jealous?”, I will point to the cover of a National Geographic magazine, and tell you that I’m jealous of everyone who gets to be a National Geographic explorer. 

Now, that makes perfect sense. 

Exploring the natural world feeds my soul, and I would love to be able to combine a love for chemistry with an enthusiasm for exploration. 

It’s might seem silly- of course anyone would envy the person with a super cool job- but it’s not. 

I know, after many a rock-rant, that minerals and geochemistry are not universally fascinating, nor is knitting or baking or sitting curled up with a National Geographic.

#2: Work hard through deliberate practice. 

Duckworth and Robbins highlight this second part of “choosing easy”, and it’s perhaps the more intuitive part of the path to passion. It’s pretty simple:

High Quality Practice = Having A Goal + Getting Feedback

What is the difference between me, someone whose peak running performance was a half marathon a year and a half ago, and Usain Bolt?

The difference is practice- and not just quantity, but quality. 

I want to take a highlighter to this point, just like Duckworth did in her discussion. 

This is why you are not a food critic, even after spending over 10,000 hours eating food. It’s why you are not a spelling bee champion, even after spending years trying to spell ‘Worcestershire sauce’.

If you want to become great, you need to practice with a goal in mind (e.g. “knit a scarf for my dog”), and get feedback (e.g. “I have 7 stitches on my needle instead of 6. I did something wrong.”). 

If you don’t have those two ingredients, you will not become the Usain Bolt of your “hard thing”. 

Passion belongs to everyone. 

A lot of times when we talk about passion in the context of really clear passion- the person who has known they wanted to be an architect since they were 5 years old, or who has always known they wanted to be a professional ballerina. 

But most of us aren’t that person. 

In truth, passion is for everyone, and it’s just about unlocking the gifts and interests you already have, maybe without even realizing it.  

Thought To Action 

1. Design a Tech Sabbath: Pick one day or evening a week to go screen-free and let your thoughts get noisy again. (Read why stillness fuels creativity).
2. Build a ‘Slow Stack’: Keep one long, complex book by your bed and promise it five pages a day—no summaries, no speed. Just sustained attention.
3. Use AI as a Mirror: Instead of asking an AI tool for answers, ask it for better questions. Collect your favorites in a “Thinking Prompts” doc.
4. Join the 30-Minute Club: Set aside 30 minutes each day to learn something unmonetized—no career goals, no productivity—just intellectual play.
5. Create a Digital Garden: Capture the best things you’re reading, writing, and noticing in one evolving document. Growth deserves a home.

Sources

The Mel Robbins Podcast

The post Angela Duckworth’s Approach To Discover Your Passions & Developing Grit appeared first on Green Also Green.